A woman with a strong and informed opinion must just have a flare for theatrics. No, how about, I’m incredibly educated on the subject (food allergies) and THIS IS MY CHILD’S SAFETY I’m talking about?
This is one of my favorite food allergy cartoons…yes, there are food allergy cartoons.
I’ve heard so many opinions on the topic of “peanut/nut free spaces”. The most compelling argument against a peanut free space, in my opinion, is that we should instead be teaching our allergic children how to survive in the “real world”. The “real world” is the way peanut lovers describe public spaces that don’t restrict peanuts or nuts.
I get it. Almost. Yes, we need to teach our kids to read labels. Yes, we need to teach our children not to blindly eat food that they didn’t prepare for themselves without asking 20 questions first.
Is it fried? What else is fried in the fryer? What oil is used in the fryer? Was the grill cleaned? What seasoning is on this? Did you prepared the grill with any dairy products? Did you use a clean knife? Did you wash your hands? Etc. Etc. Etc. Lastly, are you positively, absolutely, sure about all of your answers? Because this is life and death.
My response to this “real world” argument is this:
We try to keep our children in school until they are 17 or 18, because we KNOW they can’t hack it in the real world before they reach that age. Even at that age, they won’t make decisions that are in their best interests. Most of them will drink too much, smoke too much, sleep too much, drive too fast, hang out with the wrong people, take the wrong job, date the wrong person, spend frivolously, and eat unhealthily (among loads of other things).
Do I really want my 3, 4, 5-year-old making decisions that could potentially end her life? Do you? Do you let kids this age cross the road alone? Do you let them choose whether or not to wear a helmet when they ride their bike? Do they get to choose if they swallow that antibiotic or eat nothing but sweet tarts?
I have a hard enough time reading a label and following up with a company when something is unclear. I’ve made so many calls that resulted in me determining that food that was seemingly safe on the label was totally unsafe for my girl. I’m not referring to food that was prepared in a factory containing her allergen(s), I’m saying the food actually contained an unlabeled version of her allergen(s). (Should be criminal, right?)
Can I trust an elementary aged student, even a child in middle or high school to make these decisions and weigh all of the information I’ve gathered through hundreds of hours of research and conversations with medical professionals? No, I absolutely can not. I can’t even trust a teacher to make these decisions for my kid. I’ve done all of this reasearch because I had to for my baby. No one, outside of my husband, has an equal stake in the game.
I guarantee certain outcomes in my life would be different if my mom had control over my decisions before my brain stopped developing in my 20s. We put so many safeties in place because people make dumb, split-second decisions that could affect themselves or the lives of others. Why wouldn’t we protect the millions of children who suffer from life-threatening food allergies in the same way?
The least compelling argument against peanut-free/nut-free schools:
It’s unfair to burden the child without allergies with my daughter’s allergies. It’s unfair to deprive children of “beloved foods” during the (roughly) 30 hours they attend school each week between the months of September and June. I’ve heard and seen many arguments with similar sentiments played out on tv, social media, and even court rooms.
And, yesterday, as so many parents of children with food allergies held their breath and sent their children to their first day of school, I saw a letter posted on social media from a mom whose child does not have food allergies.
In a cold, and callous manner, she wrote that children with severe food allergies should not be allowed in public school. We should keep children with food allergies at home. She said children with food allergies are a burden to the child without food allergies. She said her child and the other children who like nuts should be able to enjoy them at school. It’s horrific that allergy parents would ask them to give up something they love.
My heart sank.
It sank until it hit the growing anger in my stomach and was pushed up into the back of my throat. I wanted to scream.
My child is not a burden. My child deserves every opportunity that this idiot, adult bully’s kid deserves. My daughter is protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act. This protects her right to go to public school with accommodations that make her environment safe and an environment where EVERYONE can learn.
Your child isn’t in school to eat a peanut butter sandwich. Send something else for snack and lunch. If you truly can’t think of anything else to send, have your child buy lunch from the nut-free cafeteria, or ask the allergy parents what they pack for their children. Surely, they’ve figured out how to feed their child who has allergies, right?
Anyone who has read my previous posts is likely beginning to understand the challenges and fears that parents of a child with food allergies, and the child who has food allergies, face every day. So many of you are attempting to put yourselves in our shoes.
Now imagine you get that letter. Maybe you have the perfect 504 plan in place to protect your child, maybe she even self-carries her epinephrine so she’s never away from it. Maybe you have a great, understanding, knowledgeable teacher and administration on your side…but the following fears still creep into your head:
Your child goes to school with this mom’s child(ren). Is your baby being bullied because she’s a burden and denying beloved food to her peers? Children who have food allergies are statistically more likely to be bullied than children who do not.
Do you trust the foods this mom is sending? Is anyone going to check the lunches her children bring in after sending a letter like that?
Deep breath. My baby isn’t in school yet. Even though there are millions of children with food allergies starting school this week, this isn’t my battle to fight… yet. There are millions of food allergy parents fighting this battle this week. They’ve likely been fighting all summer to get an appropriate 504 plan in place just so they don’t completely fall apart when their babies enter those double doors at the front of the school. Be kind to them. Be understanding. And please, be humane. Protect their children.
Oh, and just a few words on peanut free airplane policies…because adults are bigger babies than children.
Airplanes are known for giving everyone a bag of peanuts for their flight. Invisible peanut powder fills the air. Airplanes recycle their air. Peanut powdered air is continually being forced into your airway (Peanut powdered air AND germs, that’s why you always get sick after a flight). This is enough to cause anaphylaxis, thousands of feet in the air and miles from a place to land.
If you have an ounce of compassion for others, you would never complain about the minor inconvenience of going without nuts on your flight. If you do have complaints, keep them to yourself for your own protection. It’s likely that there’s a person on flight with intimate knowledge of food allergies and they’re likely to go after your nuts (and I’m not referring to your precious bag of legumes.) 😉
Not The Average Mama 
Thank you! You are very articulate on the subject matter, as I have been now for 18 years. I always knew as a parent I would worry about the typical ‘sex, drugs, and rock & roll’, but a peanut was a little more difficult to comprehend, and the fact that it could be deadly?!! Seriously? And then add on the fun ‘exchange’ from parents who just don’t get it. I don’t understand what’s not to get. Peanuts, whether it is oil residue, peanut dust or a minuscule smear on the lunch room table . . . can cause death. I think there is a very simple solution; avoid all nuts, even the ones that cause allergies!
Thanks again!
LikeLiked by 2 people
Many people make the argument “Where do you stop? If you ban nuts, you’d have to ban the other allergens too!”
There are over 120 identified allergens, and they’re right, we certainly can’t ban them all. But, the fact is, peanuts cause anaphylaxis more than any other allergen. Most of the deaths caused by anaphylaxis are as a result of contact with peanut. The reason for banning peanuts in schools seems pretty simple to me!
My daughter has many life-threatening allergies and the times that she’s suffered anaphylaxis were not a result of peanut ingestion. Nut-free spaces STILL make sense to me.
Thanks for reading, Sharon! I hope many more people “get it” as a result of what they read here.
LikeLiked by 1 person